Two people with insecure attachment styles pushing one another away with defense mechanisms already built in childhood

Two people with insecure attachment styles pushing one another away with defense mechanisms already built in childhood

By Dr. Jennifer Wolkin

 

Two people with insecure attachment styles pushing

one another away with defense mechanisms already

built in childhood

 

We slid headfirst from amniotic sacs

into masonry school where lessons on

fear: of love’s dark-side, of loss—the painful 

counterpart to intimacy—

 

were sipped through

bottles & breast milk.

 

               We graduated to observational studies 

               & saw others pick up shovels of shit-

 

fill steel-plated 

heart-shaped 

wheel-barrows 

             with

masochistic mud.

 

We learned to replace wounds with pounds of 

cement—to run away, blindfolded & backwards 

 

to seal each hole 

in the heart 

like a coffin 

with no cracks for 

              light 

to seep in & soften. 

 

              We learned to cure our fear of abandonment 

               by hardening & hiding, first our selves from 

               our selves

 

& then, brutally,            from 

                                     one 

                                     another. 

 


My name is Jen. I’m a health and neuro psychologist, speaker, mental health advocate, and mindfulness-meditation practitioner. I just started my MFA in creative writing and literary translation at Queens College. I have recently been published/forthcoming in Third Point Press, Streetlight Press, Sooth Swarm Journal, A Beautiful Space, British Journal of Medical Practitioners, Flypaper, Ars Medica, theSame, Black Fox Literary Magazine, Unbroken, and others.

 

My non-fiction work translating and sharing the science of brain research and mindfulness has been published in Thrive Global, The Huffington Post, Mindful.org, PsychCentral among others. They are compiled and can be found on my blog BrainCurves.com

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