I Dont Want To Be Afraid But I Have To Be

I Dont Want To Be Afraid But I Have To Be

By Catharine Hancock

i wasn’t raised to be scared of you,
it was beaten into me every time
i saw another story on the news:

another woman beaten to death
by an ex lover,
another mother shot
by an abusive husband,
another girl murdered for saying no
to an angry young man.

it’s not all men, no,
but it’s enough. 

it’s enough to make us
clutch keys in between our fingers.
it’s enough to make us
give out fake numbers instead of saying no.

it’s enough to make us
always be ready to run, 
to have our friends track our location on dates.
it’s enough to make us
feel like we are not our own,
like we do no belong to ourselves.

but eventually you will hear us,
and we won’t have to scream
our throats raw to get your attention,

and you will raise your sons to know
what you may not have learned
until you were older, what some of your peers
may never have learned at all:

that we are our own people,
that we do not owe you anything;
not sex, not a number, not a conversation.

that we are not your property and

we do not belong to you.

 


Catarine Hancock is a young 19-year old writer. She is the author of two self-published collections, 'the boys i've loved and the end of the world,' and 'how the words come,' both of which are available online worldwide. Her Instagram, @evanescent.love has over 100,000 followers. Praised for her raw, yet mature, voice, Catarine writes about topics spanning from relationships and heartbreak, to feminism and abuse.

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